I am so upset right now. I'm shaking. I know there are rules to places, and I know that some rules are absurd. but taking toys that are left outside and throwing them in the garbage is plain rude I don't care what the rule is. I am really starting to hate living here, I want to leave so bad. but then I remember collage and how absurd their rules were and the anger I used to feel there, and I need to take time and think of what I could have done or thought differently back then.

so for my part i just need to make extra sure that all toys are picked up at night , but other than that what else? I'm tired of living under someone elses' rules, I want my own place to make my  own rules.

calling all moms!! (and dads who may have dealt with this) I really  really really need christian advice

There is a situation going on in our neighborhood. We live in a tight community there are 20 apt's in condo style setup. two units of 10 apts. because you need kids to live here (low income housing) there are lots of kids. MY son has several playmates and all of them are from christian families and at one time or another we all went to church together.

The ages of the boys that he plays with are 2 5 yr olds and a 4 yr old (he's 2.5) I will not deny that my son can be physical, but not without reason. if someone takes something from him he will fight for it back, if someone yells at him he will get physical if someone pushes him etc he hits back. I've not seen him (this summer) hit for no reason. I"m not condoning hitting and he gets punished everytime he hits and he;s being coached to come to us whenever he feels angry or whenever someone hurts him physically or not.

One neighbor in particular who my husband has known for 7+ years has the 4 yr old. i've seen and heard him antagonize not just my son but all the others, and he deos it quietly until they do something like take a toy hit or yell and then he stands looks at his parents and cries./ inevitably they will come to the parent of the "offending" child and complain until the parent intervenes.

My son gets into it with this kid all the time. and many times the kid has gone home crying. The mom has coached her son to not play with mine, and her son has repeatedly come to me to say "I'm not playing with rowan because he might hit me or punch me or hurt me" or "If rowan hits me again I'm punching him back" all things the mom has told ehr son to say and I know this because she ahs come to me and said it

I thought she was a friend.

anyway recently a child in our neighborhood ,o0ne of the 5 yr old, threw a rock through this ladies car window. this kid has never in his life ever thrown anything into the parking lot, this kids has never even squashed a bug, he has never hit, yelled or pushed "ever".
the lady is asking the family to pay $300 to fix it, (I repeat low income housing) so they will, but the mom told me that her son told her that the 4 yr old was standing there and told him to throw it at the car. and several other parents heard this, but the parents of the 4 yr old deny it because their kid said he didn't do that.

so today i go outside and there are scratches on my car. and not just light scratches i mean deep, and they spell something there is an MA and what looks like attempts at other letters, the 4 yr olds name is matthew and he knows how to write it he's demonstrated it many times

I flipped out when i saw it thinking it was one of the older kids.
when a good friend of mine a mom of another 5 yr old came over and said that she saw her son and matthew over by my car and said she thought he was scratching it with a stick but wasn't sure. she apologized and offered to pay for it to be fixed. her son however while apologizing told me that matthew was also writing his name on my car with a shovel. Matthew of course denied it

I'm just so upset and frustrated that if i see these parents I'll blow up at them. my son is being singled out by them and their son is the instigator

I need help on how to handle this correctly not emotionally